The 3rd Step Prayer in AA: The Words, the Page and What It Asks
The Third Step Prayer is four sentences long and sits on page 63 of the Big Book. It is usually said once, out loud, with a sponsor, at the point a member decides to stop running their own recovery. For help finding AA meetings near you, call (866) 920-0628.
Read more: The 11th Step Prayer in AA: A Daily Practice
The Third Step Prayer
As it appears in Chapter 5 of the Big Book, "How It Works", on page 63:
"God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"
The archaic wording puts people off, and members routinely say it in their own words instead. The book itself notes that the wording was, of course, our own.
What the Third Step Asks
Step Three is a decision to turn one's will and life over to the care of a higher power as each member understands it. The prayer is how that decision is spoken out loud rather than merely thought.
The step is not a promise to behave, and it is not an admission of guilt — those belong to other steps. It is narrower than either: a decision to stop running the show alone.
"Relieve Me of the Bondage of Self"
This is the line members quote most, and the one that carries the step. The bondage of self is not vanity; it is the exhausting business of managing everything, defending a position, keeping score.
Read that way, the prayer asks for relief from a job the person praying has been failing at, which is a great deal easier to mean than a declaration of faith.
When and How the Third Step Prayer Is Said
Usually once, with a sponsor present, when a member reaches the third step in their work. Often kneeling, often somewhere quiet, though neither is required and plenty of people have said it in a car.
Some return to it daily afterwards. Others never say it again and regard the decision as made. Both are ordinary, and nobody audits it.
How It Differs From the Other Step Prayers
The Third Step Prayer is a decision made once. The Seventh Step Prayer, later in the same book, asks for shortcomings to be removed and belongs to a different moment in the work.
The Eleventh Step Prayer, the prayer of St. Francis, is the one designed for daily use, because the eleventh step itself asks for prayer and meditation as a daily practice. If you are looking for something to say every morning, that is the one.
If You Do Not Believe in God
A great many members do not, and the step is written to accommodate that: a higher power as you understand it, with the understanding left entirely to you. Agnostic, atheist and secular members take the third step without adopting anyone else's god.
Some address the prayer to the group, to the programme, or to nothing in particular and treat it as an intention said aloud. What the step asks for is the willingness to stop being the final authority on your own recovery, and that does not require a theology.
Taking the Step With Someone
The third step is where most members first need a sponsor rather than merely want one, because it is the first step that asks for something to be done rather than admitted.
Sponsors are found in meetings, not applied for. You can search by city and state in our directory, and listings show the format so you can find step meetings near you.